Life comes a full circle for Rohit as he helps his village

When Life comes a Full Circle

Rohit was a first generation expat from his family. He went to USA for pursuing his Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering and then settled there. Rohit had everything that a typical well-settled expat Indian is expected to have – a green card, a home, a family and a job profile that anybody would be envious about – he was the VP of the New Product division.

Rohit was also the only child of his parents, who now lived in Pune. He religiously had his family vacations, so that his children could form a bond with their grandparents from both the sides. But such visits however well-planned only meant visits to his parents and his wife’s parents and that was the ‘family in India’ that their children knew about.

During one such India visit, Rohit’s father asked him “Do you remember our village home in Ratnagiri?” Rohit was a bit lost at the question initially, but then he recollected a few faint memories of an imposing wada with a huge orchard at the back. His far-away look was noted by his mother and she simply said, “You might not remember much as after your high school you were usually busy with studies and later you went to USA”. Rohit’s son Anish was listening to the conversation. He quickly checked up Ratnagiri on Google and announced “Dad this looks like a cool place, let’s go there while we are in India!”

And just like that in a discussion over dinner, the Dongre family planned their Ratnagiri visit.

“Okay let’s look up some hotels” said, Rohit. His father simply said, “I will be staying at the Wada, you guys can book yourself a hotel close by”. “Does someone even live there dad?” now Rohit was genuinely surprised!

Yup! My brothers and a few of your cousins do live there. We go there every year!

This got Rohit and his family, even more excited. There were apprehensions about meeting someone for the first time, there was also the fear of how Rohit’s children will take in the rural life! As far as Rohit remembered the wada was a pretty old place.

But there was hardly any time to think! Things moved so quickly that they were to leave in the next two days!

The first thing that hit Rohit when he visited his native place was the lush greenery, smiling faces and the quiet recognition that everyone showed. Rohit and his family were greeted with a lot of warmth and Rohit reconnected with a lot of his cousins, that he remembered playing with as a kid! In the next half an hour, all his new found cousins and their children were connected online, thanks to Facebook! Anish exclaimed “Let’s do an FB live! I want my US friends to know, I have so many cousins that we could make a baseball team!”

Knowing your roots and meeting so many who can be called family was an uplifting feeling. The fear about how his family would take in a village life, melted away!

After they freshened up, Rohit along with a cousin Raghav, decided to go around the village. It was surprising that the people seemed to recognize him; there was respect in their eyes, which didn’t seem to make sense. “I never came to the village, after middle school, yet why is there this warmth?” questioned Rohit to Raghav.

Raghav smiled and steered him towards a tall building in the square “This is the government school of our village, it was started after the efforts of our grandfather! Our grandfather was a qualified doctor, educated in Pune, yet he came back and worked all his life for the upliftment of our village! He was the first doctor in this whole region and was instrumental in starting many initiatives for the betterment of health, sanitation and education in our village and neighboring areas.”

The words got etched somewhere deep in Rohit. He didn’t know much about his grandfather’s work. They came once a year for around 10 days to the village. By then, grandfather had retired and Rohit was too small to understand what his social service or ‘work’ mean! He became curious to know more about the great man!

Over the next two days, Rohit and Anish got to know a lot about the great figure. They were amazed and humbled with the dedication and efforts put in! “Apart from sharing a surname, I wonder what else do I have common with this great man,” wondered Anish and Rohit just replied “Exactly my thoughts son!”

Next day, they were going to their village deity and watching at the lush paddy fields and huge mango orchards that lined both sides of the road. “I want to be a farmer! This is so beautiful” quipped Anish. “With most youngsters not wanting to be farmers or going to cities, I don’t know how long these green surroundings would survive” said a worried Raghav. This caught Rohit by surprise!

“Why was nobody interested in farming?”

“Everyone thinks there isn’t much dignity in being a farmer, plus with so many climatic changes, farming just doesn’t seem feasible, they don’t get labor to work and you never know if there will be any returns on investment! It is a tough life.”

The answer put Rohit in deep thought! We were losing the primary life sustaining business known to man! There was something wrong here! By the time they were returning back from the temple, Rohit had his light-bulb moment! He quickly made a few phone calls and started typing away feverishly on the laptop.

For the next two days, Rohit looked like a man possessed! He was making presentations, watching videos, creating models.

“Would you be able to introduce me to the govt. school management by any chance?” asked Rohit to Raghav, just as he was sitting down for dinner. “Yes sure! I am an honorary member there, will talk and set something up by tomorrow.” But what is this about, asked a curious Raghav?

Well, I am a mechanical engineer and my company is into making machines for farming. I connected with them about the problems here and they are interested in sharing knowledge with the school students as part of their social responsibility activity. We have a branch in Mumbai and we are thinking of having yearly projects in schools that will ignite their interest in science. This will have good cash prizes that students can use for higher education.

The conversation lit up Raghav’s and Anish’s eyes! After dinner, the three of them huddled together over the presentations and there were excited exchange of ideas late into the light.

A short story about life coming a full circle and finding purpose

In the next two days, some more phone calls later, the presentation was arranged. Rohit showcased how his team would be interested in introducing basics of mechanical learning and creating farming related tools as a vocational subject in the school. This would prepare the students for the year end competition. The competition would revolve around creating simple and cost-effective machines that would help farmers.

The vocational classes would happen via video calls and once a month, one of his team members from Mumbai, would come to access the situation and understand the on ground realities.

By the end of the presentations, Rohit could sense that the teachers and the management alike were interested in trying this new way of learning. Rohit did a small introduction with students, to understand their perspective and the result was amazing! As he showed them how a cost effective rice-cutting instrument could be made by the students, he saw the excitement in their curious eyes.

“This is just the beginning”, Rohit mused to himself. He had just ignited a hundred little flames!

Dance as a career and how to go about it? Interview with Leena Ketkar

Tell us a bit about yourself 

  • I am a trained Kathak Dancer and running my own institute for the past 15 years.
  • An examiner at Gandharva Mahavidyalay for Kathak Dance Exams.
  • I have judged various dance competitions at city levels and participated in many state and national level programs.

When did you start learning dance?

I started learning when I was in 1st std. I started learning as a hobby and for the initial four years I learnt various styles like – Kathak, Bharatnatyam, Manipuri, Odisi and Folk dance forms. From 5th Std, I started learning from Guru Pandita Shama Bhate. I went on to take dance as my primary subject at college level and did a BA in dance from Lalit Kala Kedra, Pune University.

Now I am doing my MA under Shama Tai’s guidance from Bharati Vidya Peeth

How did you decide to take it up as a career?

What started as a hobby soon turned into a passion. While I was in high school, my Guru Shama Bhateji and Sureshji Talwalkar suggested it to me and even discussed the same with my parents. They clarified my parent’s doubts and were very understanding. With so much confidence being bestowed by my guru, my parents agreed to the suggestion and supported me in my journey.

how different is the learning process from normal colleges?

All dance universities have gurukul system in India. There are two parts to the learning process – theory and practical learning. While the theory portion is covered in college via lectures, the practical training is to be done with a Guru. Usually, universities have a prescribed list of guru’s and you need to choose your guru from that.

All performing arts education admission is based on entrance exams. You have courses from graduation to masters to PhD level in the university system.

Apart from this there are separate examinations conducted by Gandharva Mahavidyalay which is equivalent to University level BA or MA degrees.

What is the life of a professional dancer? How is it like?

Daily riyaaz and being aware about what is new in your field is extremely important. There will be a minimum 2-3 hours of practice every day. You need to be attuned to the latest happenings and explore various genres like fusion or Bollywood music.

Dance is a physically intensive field. Apart from practice, there will be a lot of travel involved as programs happen all year round and all over India. You will have to build your network and take up performances depending on your capacity. Nowadays there are troupes focusing on classical dance. They call dancers from all over the world and perform together based on a concept.

What are the requirements to take dance as a profession?

Consult your Guru to understand your performance level. Your guru is the best person to guide you. This is an intensive field and you need family support. You need to work on your physical and mental stamina as once you take it as a serious career option, it easily involves 8-10 hours of training.

Another thing that I would like to tell the parents and the students interested in pursuing this career is that there is no immediate glamour. The ever increasing reality shows, show only a part of the actual efforts put in by a dancer and there should be enough thought put in before taking it up professionally.

WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT SYSTEM DO YOU NEED TO MAKE A FULFILLING CAREER IN DANCE?

Classical dance forms or any dance forms  are physically and mentally challenging. For starters, you need 8-10 years of economic support.

When you start giving solo performances you will need good stage, good music, costumes, etc. Learning some video and sound editing skills will be an added advantage. If you are performing with live music, you need good musicians and good support dancers.

Any tips for those planning to take it up as a career?

Don’t fall for the glamour. You will be required to learn for atleast 10-12 years. Your training will be rigorous and one-to-one. Choose an able guru, who will not only teach you the techniques but will also help you explore your creativity and present challenging topics and styles. Keep realistic views about the career and focus on building your network.

What are the career options in this field?

After learning Kathak at BA or MA level, apart from being a professional dancer, you can be a faculty at performing arts universities or you can start your own dance academy. There are also career options in the field of dance related costume designing, make-up and stage management. Apart from my dance institute, I teach two Indian girls in Germany via Skype. So that’s a new way to explore.

You can contact Leena Ketkar on – 9881137578

If you are following your passion or want to bust some myths about traditional careers, then do fill in the GoogleForms and I will feature you on my blog.

Culinary Arts – A satisfying career option – Interview Shubha Shree Surendra #BlogChatterProjects

Everybody need not be an Engineer or a Doctor! The mindset that only mainstream careers mean something, is wrong. The whole month of December, I am looking at alternative careers that can be satisfying as well as rewarding.

I caught up with a 21 year old student pursuing culinary arts. You might wonder what that is! I had the same thoughts, so I did a bit of research online.

What is culinary arts?

In really simple terms, culinary art refers to the process of cooking and arranging food. How many of you thought about ‘MasterChef‘? I know, I did! It piqued my interest, so I decided to do an interview with her. Following are the excerpts from it.

Today we interview Shubha Shree Surendra who is pursuing culinary arts at the North Shore International Academy, Auckland, NZ.

What kind of background is required to apply for this course?

Education wise- you could be anything above a 12th pass student. There are age groups from 17 to 50+ at this institute.
but most importantly- one must have LOTS of patience, determination, physical and mental strength for this course.

Are there entrance tests? when should one start preparing?

Not really, most institutes do not require any prior knowledge or technical skills for this course. However, interviews and cover letters play an important role in fixing yourself a spot at any skill-based institute. Questions are usually based on how passionate you are towards the course as well as WHY you chose this field.

What is the course structure like?

The course that I am doing is a LEVEL 4 And 5 in culinary arts (Doing both levels is optional, but recommended if you want a decent position in the industry).
this is a 2-year course, consisting of 4 terms. You will be taught A-Z of culinary foundation through the 2 years – right from holding your knife to presenting a completed dish.

difference between hotel management and culinary arts?

The culinary arts refer to professions that involve preparing and cooking food. Culinary artists often are compared with restaurant managers in both education and career scope. Generally, the major differentiating factor for culinary artists and hotel management students are the specific college programs, the type of training and experience involved and the actual duties associated with each job. A culinary arts program will have subjects like nutrition and sensory evaluation, American cuisine, international cuisine and meat science. Management programs, in contrast, focus on educating individuals on how to operate the restaurant from a business management perspective.

What are the career prospects?

At the end of 2 years, you will be a certified chef, capable of working at any restaurant/hotel- positions may vary with experience, skill, etc. Other job options could be a personal chef, food stylist, cookbook author, food scientist, and so on.

some tips for students looking for a similar course?

Being a chef is not as easy as people presume, it involves a lot of physical and mental dedication every single day. For a chef, the holiday season is the busiest so forget partying during New year’s or vacationing during long weekends- this is when you’d be expected to show up in the kitchen. Do not join this profession if you are not passionate/interested in cooking; a lot of people I know have ended up choosing this course because they think they have no other option or they want to give this a “try”. Take my word, you will not be happy if you cannot give this your 100%.
what some people also don’t know is that cleaning and maintenance of hygiene plays a major role in the kitchen so expect to wash dishes when you enter the industry- that is how you grow and learn.

The kitchen is a hot, loud, noisy, busy but extremely satisfying place with a high swear-word frequency: be mentally prepared.

Can these courses be done in India? what should a student look for while choosing an institute?

India has several schools/colleges that offer a course in hotel management but only a handful that offer a mainstream culinary course.
Personally, I did not enjoy my experience in the culinary college I studied at, in India. Most Indian schools have a different approach with the education system, but then again- it’s just a personal opinion. There are 100’s of wonderfully talented chef’s that Indian schools have produced as well.
My advice before choosing your school would be: RESEARCH. Do thorough research of the school you choose. Ask questions, do not hold back. One tip would be to ask previous alumni- the ones who are not mentioned on the college website, if you want honest answers.

What is the process of applying for foreign universities and what should the student keep in mind?

Pretty much the same goes for any institute across the world. Do thorough research before choosing what fits your criteria and vision. Few things to keep in mind:
– know your rights, rules and regulations of the country before choosing.

  • If you wish to work during your study period, find out visa restrictions and availability of jobs.
  • Research everything about the country- from cost of living to future opportunities (if you wish to stay back).
  • Most students apply for universities/ colleges through an agent- I did too. It is a much faster and easier way of application as they help make sure all criteria are met and processes complete.
  • Most countries require test of language. Exams like IELTS/TOEFL, etc can be attempted, based on what the country accepts.

Last Thoughts

I hope this was an informative interview, the way it was for me. And I sincerely hope this will help more students and parents choose from the various career avenues that are now available.

Are you following your passion and have chosen an alternate career? Or maybe you know someone who has. Connect with me on nehatambe.dm@gmail.com or fill in the form below!Have any queries or wish to add more information or share this post? Share it with #LearnNotEducate

Hardest part of Motherhood

Parenting is a tough job. It seriously is, and let nobody tell you otherwise. You are responsible for a life and every decision of yours will have direct or indirect repercussions on that tiny being. This itself should scare you, and rightly so, as only then will you be a good parent. Right from the time you conceive till the end of your life, you will face many challenges as a parent; they are different at every stage and nothing prepares you for it, but as the topic talks about hardest part of being a mother, I will stick to that. So what is the hardest part of being a mom? While I still have to experience a lot, I will touch upon the things that I have seen or experienced till date in my journey of being a mother.

Being a new mom-

Being a first-time mom was the hardest part of my parenting journey. No amount of books prepared me for what lay in store. Though it’s a wonderful feeling, it is an uphill task.Firstly, your sense of privacy is evaded with the whole delivery process then come the endless feed sessions, baby latching problems, sleepless days, all this and more leaves you exhausted. Add to it the post-partum depression, hormonal changes, the recovery time etc., you simply feel bogged down by everything. There was a point where I felt I made the biggest mistake of my life by deciding to have a baby. There is also the nervousness of messing something up which takes a toll on you. Those initial days were the hardest weeks with my newborn. The second time around I was better equipped and I also knew that though the first few weeks are hard, they do get over and a sense of normalcy will prevail.

Having to deal with the innocent age –

The odd age when the child is not old enough to understand everything and not young enough to be fooled is another hard time for a mother. For example – They understand the entertainment avenues and see the hep, pulsating songs and want to gyrate on it but as a mother and an adult, I also understand the double-meaning vulgar words that are being mouthed. How do you explain that to a child? The first innocent crush that the child experiences might not be seen as just that by others. The innocent urge to enact their favorite hero/heroines moves or acts might actually be vulgar, evading privacy or dangerous. How do you communicate that to the child without being harsh?

First crush

Being prepared and helping the children grow up –

This isn’t as simple as it sounds! Till the child is small you can enforce rules, monitor, and put some kind of regulation on what they watch, what influences them, who are they with etc. but after they are independent enough to make these decisions how do you safeguard their interests while not being seen as intrusive? It’s a tightrope to walk. The hardest part in this stage of parenting is watching. The new feelings that the children experience, right from their first crush to their heartbreak, the peer-pressure, the new world order, all this and more is what the child will want to be a part of and as a parent all we can do is watch and maybe hold an umbrella for them in the face of a storm.

These are some of the hardest things that I feel one has to deal while being a mother. I am sure there are much more. What are your thoughts? Have you faced any such problems or do you have a solution to offer? Would love to hear it

Linking this up with  #Mondaymommymoments or #MMM with Dr. Amrita and Deepa Gandhi

MMM tangy-tuesday pick

HEALTHWEALTHBRIDGE

 

 

Winning the Liebster Award

Yay, I have been nominated for Liebster Award! This is the first time I have been nominated by someone for an award (Shh!) and I am enjoying every moment of it (grinning from ear to ear)

I have been nominated for this award by CrazyList. She is a lifestyle and beauty blogger, quotes collector and lover of lists! Check out her blog here.  I loved her pineapple / palm tree gold logo! Thank you so much, Mayuri Saxena

Liebster Award

What is a Liebster award?

The Liebster Award 2017 is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers.   Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. The rules vary at times, but here’s what Mayuri stated and I am following the same.

The Liebster award rules:

1.      Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their site.

2.      Display an image of the award and write a post about your nomination on your blog.

3.      Answer the 10 questions your nominee has asked in their blog post.

4.      Nominate 5-10 other deserving new bloggers for the award and ask them 10 questions of your choice.

5.      List the rules of the award in your blog post.

Answers to Mayuri aka NYX questions:

1.  Tell us about your blog.

My blog started off as my private space to hone my writing skills and today has grown into a space that talks about parenting, digital marketing, short stories and micro-fiction.

2. What has been the most rewarding experience your blog has brought you?

Meeting wonderful people and reading about their amazing journeys! In Blogosphere all you need to do is ask and people will help and guide you. Blogging is an exciting journey and you learn something new everyday. All this has been extremely rewarding and fulfilling.

3. What is the best piece of advice you can give your readers?

Life is too small to bicker and hold on to painful memories. Keep working on a better ‘You’ and collecting Neki Ka Khazana (Kindness treasure).

4. What is your favorite travel destination and why?

I fell in love with Andaman’s. The idyllic islands were so mesmerizing that I didn’t want to come back. Read more about it here 

6.  If someone were visiting your city or town, what would you suggest they do?

Pune and its beauty can be best appreciated in the monsoons. Go biking or hiking in the Western Ghats, trek the many forts around Pune or take a splash in the natural waterfalls dotting the hills around the city.

7.  What makes you deliriously happy?

Small achievements make me happy. I am someone who loves and enjoys the small things in life. I like to surround myself with achievers and dreamers and rooting for them and they rooting for me is what keeps me going.

8. What is your guilty pleasure?

Desserts, Masala Chai and Pani-Puri

 9. What is a difficult obstacle you have had to overcome?

I believe there aren’t obstacles. Life throws choices at us and it’s up to us to decide what we wish to do. I always look for solutions and thankfully have always been lucky to either find solutions or get help in finding them.

10. What are you most grateful in your life?

Family and friends

I nominate the following bloggers for the Liebster Award:

All of these bloggers are hard-working, professional and just really good, inspiring people to have in your blogger life! Please answer the same questions I answered.

Congratulations! I hope you guys do justice to Liebster Award and I am looking forward to reading your answers.

Dr. Amrita Basu

Shalini 

Tina Basu

Uttpal Krushna

Hiral Amodia

Atul Maharaj

Mayuri

Deepa Gandhi

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. All the best to the nominated bloggers and looking forward to reading your replies.

Love,

Neha

#Tiniature – Twitter Tale

Twitter _tale

Twitter usually evokes mixed reactions. There are few who love it and then there are few who hate it. I think it’s more about finding your tribe. Once you find it, you will love Twitter. The above post kind of sums up my relationship with twitter.

Unlikely unwinding destinations


Indian Bloggers

The other day my daughter teased, “Hey Mom, now all of us will go out of the house in the morning, me and brother to school and dad to the office. You will be alone in the house.” While I muttered under my breath “You have no clue how desperately I have been waiting for this” Yup! With two kids your house is never quiet, especially as long as both are not in formal school. My younger one will start preschool this year and I have been so waiting for it. He in school will mean two hours of peace at home, well not exactly because I will be motoring through to finish chores and blog posts before he is back, but still it is better than not getting done anything in the whole day.

Unusual unwinding places

The Bathroom

If you are a mother of two, you know there is no peace or ‘me time’ anywhere in the house, except the bathroom. The bathroom is my hiding place when things are getting out of hand and I need a breather. When the going is good, I can actually think, maybe even read a book (at least a few pages) and check on my social media while in the bathroom. And then there are times when the moment I enter the bathroom one of them want something from the bathroom or have some questions that just can’t wait till I come out of the bathroom.

The Car

Another place is my car! I leave to pick the kids and take the longest possible route to have some ‘me time’ with music on. This helps me think, focus and even relax before the next rush hour starts. As it is with two kids, you are always running errands for one or the other, the best way to utilize that time is unwinding.

The Balcony

The balcony is another place where I like to unwind. When the kids are busy watching Television, I sneak in the balcony and do nothing. Just enjoy the fresh air, see the on-goings around and do absolutely nothing. So when I am really worked up, I turn on the kid’s channel (my kids won’t move an inch when that damn thing is turned on) and sneak out in the balcony. I know docs might not agree with TV time, but for my sanity, I need that break 😛
Do you have such unwinding places? What are those? I would love to be inspired.

😀


I am writing this post for #Barathon from Blogarhythm with the theme seven situations unique to a mother of two.

There is no dearth of Hugs and Kisses

Okay now, this is one mushy-mushy post! If you have two children, especially with one being a daughter, there is no dearth of kisses and hugs, seriously! My kids are always in a competition of who kisses and hugs the most. The beneficiary is ‘yours truly’ but at times it can have hilarious outcomes too.

Most of the times I enjoy those free, no frills attached hugs and kisses, however, there are times when they just go overboard. It usually starts with one hugging or kissing me, then suddenly the other one decides to outdo the other and gives double the hug or kiss, eventually making me beg them to stop!

Then there are times when the older one has hugged me and then she realizes that the younger one hasn’t so she murmurs into his ear that he should say ‘I love you Mama’ and hug me. The obedient sheep that my son is, he immediately sets about completing the task, only to realize that I am in the washroom. That’s when he will start calling out my name with urgency in his voice. I rush out only to find this guy leaning over the door and hugging me the moment I open the door.

At times my daughter has this urge of showing off in front of her friends. She doesn’t need a reason for it, it could be anything – something sent in the Tiffin, her project that I helped with or some class that I have allowed her to join. She will get out of the school bus and hug me saying ‘My mom did this and this, I love you momma’ and her friends will try and imitate her, thereby leading to a full blown hugging session at the bus stop, with all children hugging their mom’s.

The fun part is because my daughter has done this in front of my son, though she may outgrow it in a year or two, my son will probably continue it for some more time, thereby making me a very happy Mom!

Always ready with a hug or kiss

 

 

A house Spick and Span, What’s that?

My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The fifth situation is that your house is never beautiful


So you are proud of your housekeeping skills? Are your homes good enough to be on the cover page of Good Homes? Chances are you don’t have two children under eight! If you have two children at home, forget about having a spick and span house. I know there are people who have two children and still manage to have a beautiful house, personally, I just believe they are superhumans and one in a million. For mere mortals like me, it’s a herculean and never ending task.

Nothing in it’s place

When the children are at home, there is hardly anything that is in its place. Toys will be found everywhere except the toy storage. Playing or not, they have to be on the floor! The moment you pick them up, one of them will come looking for it. If not toys, then even the kitchen utensils will do! In the morning rush hour when the tiffins need to go on time, my younger one has the urge to get the whole kitchen down!

house will be unclean and messy

PC- Pixabay

Twin’s or Children with less age gap

If you don’t want to be in the eye of a raging storm, never tell a mom of twins or with less age gap that her house isn’t that clean. The poor woman can only manage so much. I have friends who just wish to get done with the day and hit the bed as all they ever do in the initial years is feed, put to bed, soothe a crying baby or clean. The kids just keep going in cycles and without help, it’s a daunting task. Hell, with just one kid at a time, I am so disheveled, my house help looks better than me!

Age gap of four or more

If the age gap is more, it’s still not a better story. By the time you have taught your older child to put things in place, the younger one is old enough to throw them around, so basically your house is a perpetual mess till both of them are at least seven years old and that my friend is a long time. Currently, building house with pillows has caught my younger one’s fancy, so all the pillows in the house are in the living room at any given point in time. Why the living room you ask? Because cushions from the sofa are fundamental in making a good cushion/pillow house. My pleas, begging, shouting, even an occasional whack as resulted in zero improvements and now I have made peace with a pillow land that I call my living room.

 

I am linking this post to #BarAThon 2017 hosted by BlogARhythm

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It is always Mom v/s Kids

My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The fourth situation is whatever the situation it’s always Mom v/s Kids!


Imagine your children are fighting tooth and nail as if the whole world’s survival depends on it, you walk in and try to resolve the issue, thereby ensuring the house does not collapse around your ears. End of story right? NO! The moment you jump in to try and resolve the matter so that your children don’t bite off each other’s heads, it somehow turns on you. They find some unexplainable way, wherein you are at fault and suddenly both of them are on the same team! The weird thing is when they say it; even you believe that it was indeed your fault!

it's always mom versus the kids

photo credit Pixabay

Never get into their fights

That’s the biggest lesson I have learned from my experience. The moment my children start fighting, I just call for a timeout – bark instructions to keep both of them at two ends of the house and at times even throw in a punishment or two, but never ever ask them the cause. Asking for cause is inviting trouble. You will have to listen to both the sides with both of them shouting at the same time, you will not make head or tail of the problem because usually there is none and finally you will be labeled a difficult mother who never understands. The worst is if you pass a judgment where you blame one child for something, suddenly the other child will come to his defense, console him/her saying “don’t worry I understand, Mom doesn’t get it” and the likes. And you start to wonder why in the first place did you get into this mess?

Mom-bashing doesn’t need a reason

Say you are trying to get your younger one to eat some veggies and by virtue of trying to bolster the older one’s image and make her feel good you give her example. “See how your sister eats everything on her plate, She is a strong girl because she eats everything without complaining” You would expect a beaming smile from the older one, but nine out of ten times, she will quip “That is because you made me eat everything when I was young, just like you are making him eat!” And so the mom-bashing starts with both exchanging notes of how mom made them eat all kinds of things without considering their choices. Or how she makes the same old things and never tries anything new.
The darn television ads don’t make your life easy, especially those savory and chocolate ads. The moment those ads run, children will note the virtues of that product and repeat it to you asking why you don’t let them eat such ‘good things’ daily.

Did you ever experience such things? How did you manage without being sucked into it?

I am writing this post for Blogarhythm’s BarAThon 2017