The other day my gang got together and we were talking about the difference in age in a relationship. While a few of them said it is nonsensical to have a huge age gap between couples, the other group was of the opinion that age does not matter when it comes to Love. While I heard both the opinions I wasn’t really sure, which side to take. It started with the discussion around a new Marathi serial hitting the small screen – Tula Pahate Re.
The serial is based on a similar premise where the guy is older than the girl by a huge age margin. I remembered watching the movie Lamhe when I saw this trailer.
When the movie hit theatres, I was too small to understand such complex relations and matters, watching this serial made me see a different perspective. While I overall believe that an appropriate age gap is important for a balanced perspective in life, I am not sure how I would react to a bigger age-gap. Right off my mind I can think of these few reasons why a big age gap can be a hindrance.
The relation becomes more paternal
This is a debate that does not cease to exist. While a few believe the relation turns more paternal than as a partner, there are a few of the opinion that it brings out the inner child in the older person. As we grow older, we cease to see the magic in small things and the tiny happiness that life brings our way every day. As I saw one of the episodes of the program, I realized this to be so true! While as kids we enjoyed eating roadside Panipuri or the gola, today even standing next to such a thela all we think of is hygiene.
Will both have a similar world-view?
As I have grown over the years I know that my worldview has changed and has changed dramatically. As a teen, I believed only in black and white, but as age and experience caught up I realized there is a lot of grey in the world and not everything can be slotted as right or wrong. I have seen such differences in thought or views even as I added just a few years to my age, then how will the world-view of a couple with a big age –gap be the same?
The biological clock is real
In today’s age and world, it is really not that important if you have planned in advance. There is enough scientific advancement to let you conceive at an older age but what if the other person does not want to start a family? I mean a person nearing 40 might want to start a family soon while the younger partner might not think it is the right time for her. Having a baby is a commitment and it needs to be arrived at by mutual consent and choice. Can age difference be a reason for different expectations and choices?
Achieving milestones together
I think there is a certain beauty in achieving life milestones together! I saw my parents working towards their first house or first real vacation. But when there is a big age gap, one partner might have crossed these milestones long back. Will they share the same happiness for each other’s small but important milestones?
While all these are some real challenges, I find the tagline of the serial Tula Pahate Re extremely intriguing, loosely translated as “Something that makes you forget your age is Love”. Will Esha and Vikram, the characters of the serial find love, companionship and be able to overcome these common hurdles that life will throw their way is something that needs to be seen.