As a mother I am unnerved and hating the 24*7 circus that news channel all across have been running on a sensitive matter as rape and murder of a child! Don’t you have any knowledge about how news is to be presented? Why there is a debate on this matter, is it even a matter to debate?
I want my children to sit at home and listen to news and gain knowledge, be alert and aware! Sadly all the news channels are offering is fear! They have turned news into a fear mongering machinery that will scare the parents and scar children for life!
For every devil in us there are a 1000 good people. How is it that the news channel only finds topics like these heinous crimes for prime time debate and not have extensive talks about the CWG achievement of Indian Sportsmen?
Don’t sensationalize everything
I am not saying don’t show these news. With the good, there will be bad, and it is better to equip the children with right knowledge so that they are aware and better equipped for it. However, I am against the whole sensationalization of it!
For God’s sake this is not a matter of entertainment or gossip! A child’s life was brutally cut short. Be sensitive! Show it with some dignity and respect. Shouting on top of your voices and just talking about things in the air is fine for theatre but not for real-life incidents.
I say enough of this debate and sensationalizing everything. I expect the media to come up with better coverage. I expect them to act with dignity to command respect from the citizens and finally enough of communalizing any matter.
I as a mother want a lot of changes in News Media, Judiciary, government and Citizens to bring about important changes in the way my child sees the world and lives here. I don’t want her to live in fear but a trust that she is not alone. I don’t need my child to be scared of the night or of talking to someone. My child is not a glass figurine to be kept in a showcase, she is a free bird who has every right to soar. As a mother I demand it from the society that I am a part of…
- Show news for what it is. I don’t need your yelling on top of your voices. Making allegations that is based on hearsay.
- I don’t need drama and fear mongering. We have other entertainment channels for it.
- No debates on these topics. Show statistics. Your audience is mature enough to find rationale. I want to know how many such rape cases took place in that region. How many got relief from the courts? What is the local and state government doing to avoid it?
- I want follow-up news from the media. Show me how are you championing the cause, by helping the victims, or telling us the way forward.
- I need expert child counselors, law experts, policy experts to tell me what steps we can take to avoid this in future.
- I don’t need to see which political party has what views on it. I need to see their action. I don’t need their statements. In the last 20 years all I have seen is political parties talk, it’s time for them to act or don’t give them any screen time.
- For heaven’s sake do not show the child’s photo, name or religion. For me a child is not safe is enough to break my heart. Don’t need her pictures, before rape and murder, after rape and murder etc.
- Every detail, has to be cross-checked and only then published on the channel. Wrong reporting, misleading reports should be severely punishable.
- Keep the child’s identity – name, religion, caste etc. secret. Once these political parties cannot gain mileage out of such cases, they will automatically stop turning it into a circus.
- I don’t want daily sound-bytes about the issue. The family is grieving, spare a thought for them. Let them grieve and find some semblance in peace.
Judiciary and Political Parties
- If such a case comes to light, I want a special national cell to take over the investigation immediately.
- The cell should be formed of forensic experts, ex-army members, women cops and lawyers, child counselors. It should be away from any political affiliation because politicians have been notorious about turning any issue for political mileage and I am sick of it now.
- Keep the child’s identity – name, religion, caste etc. secret. I don’t need someone to add a fear of religion in my child’s mind. If the rape and murder had been committed by a person of same religion, would it be less heinous?
- The case needs to be thoroughly investigated and a first investigation update presented in 1 month. The case should be solved within 3 months, except for rare cases.
- Nobody should be able to pull up earlier cases for propaganda. The Kathua case happened in Jan and it’s come in news in April, isn’t the timing too off?
- There should be regular workshops for these teams on topics like sensitization about the issue, how to handle the media and relatives, new methods of forensic investigation etc.
- I need a national database that should be easily accessible to every parent on such registered offenders.
- I don’t need daily update about how the child’s family is crying today or how government has declared X amount of compensation etc. I want a structured compensation and rehabilitation law and facility that are uniform across the country. No political mileage out of such painful matter.
- I want strict and severe action against child rapists and murders. I want capital punishment for them. For those who rape children and women, the punishment should go beyond 14 years with maximum solitary confinement.
- Create a national citizen’s app for quick reporting. Right from eve-teasers to major offenders all such crimes should be able to report and upload. Anyone can upload immediately with whatever proof they have. These cases should be automatically allotted to the nearest police station and immediate action with FIR in 24 hours should be mandatory.
- I welcome the decision of Delhi High Court slapping a fine on all media houses that disclosed the identity of the rape victim. If they can’t offer dignity and respect, it is imperative to slap such fines.
It’s high time that we stop these politicians and others use our children as tools for their propaganda or fear mongering. Our children are not their TRP’s or next election topic. They are living breathing beings who have every right to be free from fear and prejudice. Since time immortal a girl or woman’s honor and her whole family’s honor is tied to her vagina.
The man of the house can be beating a woman, molesting a neighbor, but the family name is not ruined by that. But someone who is a sad excuse for a human being can’t control his urges and somehow the victim has ruined the family name. We are in the 21st century. We are not in some stone age where our girls can be picked and used and all we do is cry. I refuse to tie my girl in shackles of some society diktat.
- If you see something around you, report it.
- If you know some case help them via assistance in taking the case to its logical conclusion
- If you find anyone trying to politicize the matter, report them too
- Have vigil teams around schools, your home and any other place the child frequents.
- Let’s not just forward things on what’s app, let’s talk about it in citizen forums.
- Ask questions to police about CCTV on roads, schools and buses
- Demand police verification of every employee in school.
- Educate children to be safe.
- Tell your daughter that she need not be afraid to speak. Her honor lies in her deeds, not in someone else’s action.
- Build trust in her that she can come to you, no matter what.
I am promising my daughter that I will not put her in shackles for the fear that I can’t trust the men in the world. I will let her be free and promise her that I will work towards making this society safe for her. I won’t wait for someone to do something. I am taking steps to ensure my child’s safety.
Men who are reading this, I know not everyone is evil. I have enough men around me to believe that, but today the onus is on you to prove that your daughters, sisters, friends can trust you.
As the government can’t find time to formulate rules, let’s make their job easy. Let’s lay down the rules and demand action. It’s our children that are being used to promote fear psychosis, propaganda and inferiority complex; and I will not stay quiet about it.
UPDATE – This post was written around 3 days back when I was extremely upset and shaken with the way the matter was being handled. Extremely happy to see that the government has added two important points in the bill
- Life in jail or death for child rapists
- The case should be probed and up for trial in 2 months.
And somewhere in Madhya Pradesh an uncle raped and murdered a 6 month old girl to get back at the baby’s mother for fighting with him! Rape is not a tool for vendetta, this will stop now! As parents and a civil society we will demand it NOW.
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