1. Does age between the couple matter in a relationship?

The other day my gang got together and we were talking about the difference in age in a relationship. While a few of them said it is nonsensical to have a huge age gap between couples, the other group was of the opinion that age does not matter when it comes to Love. While I heard both the opinions I wasn’t really sure, which side to take. It started with the discussion around a new Marathi serial hitting the small screen – Tula Pahate Re.

The serial is based on a similar premise where the guy is older than the girl by a huge age margin. I remembered watching the movie Lamhe when I saw this trailer.

When the movie hit theatres, I was too small to understand such complex relations and matters, watching this serial made me see a different perspective. While I overall believe that an appropriate age gap is important for a balanced perspective in life, I am not sure how I would react to a bigger age-gap. Right off my mind I can think of these few reasons why a big age gap can be a hindrance.

The relation becomes more paternal

This is a debate that does not cease to exist. While a few believe the relation turns more paternal than as a partner, there are a few of the opinion that it brings out the inner child in the older person. As we grow older, we cease to see the magic in small things and the tiny happiness that life brings our way every day. As I saw one of the episodes of the program, I realized this to be so true! While as kids we enjoyed eating roadside Panipuri or the gola, today even standing next to such a thela all we think of is hygiene.

Will both have a similar world-view?

As I have grown over the years I know that my worldview has changed and has changed dramatically. As a teen, I believed only in black and white, but as age and experience caught up I realized there is a lot of grey in the world and not everything can be slotted as right or wrong. I have seen such differences in thought or views even as I added just a few years to my age, then how will the world-view of a couple with a big age –gap be the same?

Does age between the couple matter in a relationship?

The biological clock is real

In today’s age and world, it is really not that important if you have planned in advance. There is enough scientific advancement to let you conceive at an older age but what if the other person does not want to start a family? I mean a person nearing 40 might want to start a family soon while the younger partner might not think it is the right time for her.  Having a baby is a commitment and it needs to be arrived at by mutual consent and choice. Can age difference be a reason for different expectations and choices?

Achieving milestones together

I think there is a certain beauty in achieving life milestones together! I saw my parents working towards their first house or first real vacation. But when there is a big age gap, one partner might have crossed these milestones long back. Will they share the same happiness for each other’s small but important milestones?

While all these are some real challenges, I find the tagline of the serial Tula Pahate Re extremely intriguing, loosely translated as “Something that makes you forget your age is Love”. Will Esha and Vikram, the characters of the serial find love, companionship and be able to overcome these common hurdles that life will throw their way is something that needs to be seen.

27 Replies to “Tula Pahate Re – Does age between the couple matter in a relationship?”

  1. Personally I feel the lesser the age gap the better it is but I may be biased dear and me n my husband are just ten months apart and we have enjoyed each moment together. But I would say true love has no age as long as you find the right person.

  2. Interesting read 👍 Neha. Very well written 👍
    Age doesn’t matter in love. But, I agree with Roma, lesser the age gap better it is. With this the understanding between the couple falls in a closer age group. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. it is a sensitive debatable topic. I think too much of an age difference can be difficult if choices are different. But again i don’t mind a cougar couple too! It depends on the individuals choice and we should respect it. This

  4. Age does not matter in relationship. The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship, support each other in achieving personal goals, foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy, and resolve problems in constructive ways.

  5. Interesting read Neha and valid points. While I agree with them I feel that love is paramount and nothing matters more than it. As long as the couple uses their age difference as a strength, it should all work out!

  6. Wow.. an interesting topic but i think this is one of those topics that is very specific to each relationship. Sometimes a person is mature beyond thier age and an elder mature partner maybe the right pairing for them..and vice versa. As long as the couple are comfortable i think its no ones place to judge.

  7. When you truly love a person age is never a barrier. But personally, i do agree that smaller age gabs are best for better mutual understanding.

  8. What a lovely story.Love does make things easier but I also agree with what you said.Its not easy when theres a big age difference

  9. What is said it true.. age gap between couple can be debated for long.. well this serial seems interesting.. will check it out.

  10. Neha ji you have spoken my heart. I am in Love with this series. First of all the concept is introduced for the first time in Marathi series. We have seen this concert in Hindi dialy soaps but never in Marathi and the way with which it just executed is brilliant. I am hooked. I switch on my TV for this series, set aside all the work and repeat Cha pan repeat Pahate. 🙈

  11. I am of the opinion that love is all that matters, but yes to a certain extent age compatibility also plays an important role. A neutral age difference may not give as many hitches as a generous one does. But that’s my own perception, which might be wrong too. It all depends on personal compatibility,

  12. Amazing and beautiful movie. I’m desperate to watch this movie series. This Marathi movie is executed so perfectly. Age gap doesn’t matter when it’s comes to personal compatibility. Great thoughts.

  13. I personally do not believe that in a sincere relationship age makes any difference. It is just a question of how clear an understanding the partners in the relationship have with each other. If they have a clear idea about things, like when they want to have children and what they expect from each other in married life, then age difference makes no difference. The problem arises only when people enter into relationships blindly without thinking things out, but then that is something true of any kind of relationship. Not just ones with a huge age gap between the partners.

  14. You have written on an interesting and sensitive topic. Though we may never be able to say for sure what works in a relationship, age does play an important factor as you have very nicely mentioned. Beyond that if the couple understand clearly what they are getting into and see that their love is all that matters then, nothing can be a hindrance.

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