Ways to Deal with Online Gaming and Mobile Addiction among Teens – Guest Post


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We all use computers and mobile phones. Sometimes it’s for work, sometimes for fun, but the problem arises when our children start overusing the Internet for online gaming and visiting social networks. Luckily, if you realize your teenager has a problem, there are ways to help them.

Limit the use of technology

Don’t forbid it, because it will only cause them to rebel and they will find a way to go online without you knowing. Instead, limit it so that your child is allowed to spend some time online every day, but be sure you’re in control and you know exactly when your child is playing online games or visiting social media. Talk to your child and explain why it’s important for them not to spend too much time online. Tell them that they would be given a reasonable amount of time for gaming and chatting with their friends online, but encourage them to spend more time with their friends without technology. Suggest social games, teach them how to play cards, Monopoly or Risk and they will soon realize that their computers and phones aren’t the only things they enjoy.

Photo credit Pexel


Include the whole family

Limiting the use of social media alone won’t be enough if you don’t find your child something else to do, too. However, be careful with your choice of activities. Teenagers don’t really want to spend time doing chores. They will usually find excuses not to do them and go online instead, so you need to make the work look like fun. This can easily be achieved if you set a good example and do the chores along with them. If your child sees the whole family cheerfully doing something together, they will perceive it as quality family time. Begin with simple tasks, such as decluttering and tidying things in your home, since that way it’s possible for each family member to participate. Get rid of anything unnecessary, such as old toys or clothes they’ve outgrown. Organize everything in boxes using home gadgets like a label maker and donate it. Be sure to do it together, to create the sense of teamwork. These seemingly simple activities have a positive impact on the whole family. They will not only distract your teenager from social networks and online gaming, but will bring you all closer together.

Spend time outdoors

Find parks or walking tracks near you and go trekking or have a picnic. Spend every weekend outside with your children, go on field trips and show them there’s fun to be had without the use of technology. Go sightseeing. Wherever you live, there has to be something significant or beautiful there that your child hasn’t seen yet. If possible, get your child a dog. Gather your family, go to a shelter together, and choose a dog for adoption. Your child will know that you value their opinion if you let them decide. This will make your teenager happy, teach them about responsibilities and give them a reason to spend more time outside.

Do sports

Find a sport your child likes and have them take it up. It doesn’t even have to be a team sport. Whatever they choose to practice, it will keep them away from their computers and phones. It will also give them the opportunity to meet other children their age and with similar interests, which will probably make them want to spend more time with their peers. Plus, your child will be healthier and happier if they’re physically active. Attend their games, matches or competitions and cheer for them. It will show them you’re proud of them and give them more incentive to keep up what they’re doing.

As parents, our main duty is to do everything we can for our child to be healthy and happy. So, pay attention to your teenager’s habits, be sure to catch the signs of addiction as soon as possible and solve the problems you have together, as a family. And always find time to talk to your child and let them know they always have your support.

author Bio

Claire is a personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. You can find her online writing and giving tips about lifestyle and development as a regular contributor at highstylife.com.

You can connect with her on 

facebook.com/clairenadams

twitter.com/adamsnclaire

Unlikely unwinding destinations


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The other day my daughter teased, “Hey Mom, now all of us will go out of the house in the morning, me and brother to school and dad to the office. You will be alone in the house.” While I muttered under my breath “You have no clue how desperately I have been waiting for this” Yup! With two kids your house is never quiet, especially as long as both are not in formal school. My younger one will start preschool this year and I have been so waiting for it. He in school will mean two hours of peace at home, well not exactly because I will be motoring through to finish chores and blog posts before he is back, but still it is better than not getting done anything in the whole day.

Unusual unwinding places

The Bathroom

If you are a mother of two, you know there is no peace or ‘me time’ anywhere in the house, except the bathroom. The bathroom is my hiding place when things are getting out of hand and I need a breather. When the going is good, I can actually think, maybe even read a book (at least a few pages) and check on my social media while in the bathroom. And then there are times when the moment I enter the bathroom one of them want something from the bathroom or have some questions that just can’t wait till I come out of the bathroom.

The Car

Another place is my car! I leave to pick the kids and take the longest possible route to have some ‘me time’ with music on. This helps me think, focus and even relax before the next rush hour starts. As it is with two kids, you are always running errands for one or the other, the best way to utilize that time is unwinding.

The Balcony

The balcony is another place where I like to unwind. When the kids are busy watching Television, I sneak in the balcony and do nothing. Just enjoy the fresh air, see the on-goings around and do absolutely nothing. So when I am really worked up, I turn on the kid’s channel (my kids won’t move an inch when that damn thing is turned on) and sneak out in the balcony. I know docs might not agree with TV time, but for my sanity, I need that break 😛
Do you have such unwinding places? What are those? I would love to be inspired.

😀


I am writing this post for #Barathon from Blogarhythm with the theme seven situations unique to a mother of two.

You acquire new skills like being a detective and selective listening

My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The third situation is where you acquire new skills like being a detective!


Yup! If you are a mom of two, you are a part detective. Once the kids grow old enough and learn the art of offering selective information you turn detective. It’s not like they wish to malign the other or have any darker motive; it’s simply the way how they see the situation or problem. The age I am talking about is 6+ years so it isn’t too far away.

mother's are a part detective

Initial Years

Till the younger one can’t figure things out, he is the usual culprit as by then the Child 1 has learned this art and is dying to try it out on someone, so the obvious scapegoat is his/her little sibling. Aren’t they younger? It’s their moral duty to be guinea pigs for all future experiments from older siblings seem to be the thought process. So right from ‘Who spilled the milk?’ to ‘Who latched the door?’ all fingers will point to the younger child and as the younger one is oblivious to this (and too young to argue) things will go smoothly. However, after one or two incidents, the detective in you will arise from his slumber and henceforth every incident will be scrutinized.

Later Years

By now child two will also hone his skills in selective information sharing. In these years, both will come to you with a fight and each will vociferously blame the other for the situation. So if the milk is spilt because the older one came rushing in and pushed the table, Kid 1 will see it as Kid 2’s fault as he didn’t drink it quick enough and is always lazing around and Kid 2 will see it as Kid 1 always runs around the house spoiling/spilling the younger one’s things… so on and so forth, you get the drift.

This is the time when a Mom earns the skills of selective listening. I blame both for their individual shortcomings and get them to clean up together. This helps not being sucked into another debate of ‘you always side with the other’ however be ready for a lot of whining where both discuss and declare that ‘Mom always finds ways to make us work!’ or any other colorful ideas that the children might be nursing on that particular day.

Linking this post to #BarAThon hosted by BlogARhythm 

 

5 lessons I learnt as a Mom

No two kids are alike and hence nothing that has worked with one kid will work with the second kid. I had always believed that parenting is simple and easy (Big Mistake) and assumed I will be a natural and a perfect model for Johnson’s baby ads! How tough can it be? Kids sleep, drink milk, talk sweet nothings and you just have to make them laugh and play with them when they are babies. As they grow up they will learn everything, right! (Totally Wrong!!!) Well, these were the ideas that I had before my baby came along and then I was in for a rude shock!!

That’s when I realized being a parent, is a life long work in progress. Nothing prepares you for it. You cannot learn it nor can you master it. But you do learn a lot from your children. In the following years, after my child’s birth I learnt a few things. Things that have helped me be a better person and hopefully a better parent.

Parenting can be stressful – This is the first thing I learnt as a became a Mom. It also made my respect for my mom grow manifolds. Being  a parent is a thankless job and yet one of the most cherished posts in the world. I respect the fact that I am responsible for growing and nurturing two humans and doing it well is something that I take seriously. I need to be a role model for my children – someone who is responsible, capable of taking tough decisions and never overtly dependent on others.

Focusing on my ‘Me’ time-  As a mother,I ended up losing my identity and choices. I fussed about my children’s choices and wants, family’s requirement and other priorities. I ended up being at the bottom of this priority list. That’s when I observed, my kids never missed on their TV time or play time. They said it made them happy and that’s when it hit me. I need to enjoy things in life to be completely productive. My children made me realize the importance of ‘me’ time.

Keeping my temper in check –I was always known for having a terrible temper. My mom always asked me to keep it in check. Doing a hundred good is wasted with one bad word, she would say. Sadly, I never took those words seriously. However after kids, when I lost my temper and saw their scared faces, I realized how wrong I was. Over the years I have learnt that losing temper hardly serves anything, but arguing without raising my voice can help make a difference. Not that I have mastered this skill. It is still a work in progress but I have made a promise to myself that I will continue working on it.

5-things-i-learnt

To be at the receiving end of nasty remarks, yet chinning up and staying put – When you are a mom for two kids, you end up being in the middle of many fights. While you try to be fair, there are times when the children see you as a villian. The things that you try and enforce as an important rule for their betterment, is seldom seen like that.In situations like these the children lose their temper and say some nasty things. They might not mean it and say in the heat of the moment, but it hurts nevertheless. It is at times such as these, I learnt that I need to put my emotional side away and focus on what is good for my kids and be steadfast in my decisions. They will thank me later.

Always be ready for unknown contingencies- Being a mom of two has made me an amplifier of contingencies.I over think every situation. I am on high alert at all times and I have a solution for almost everything. I know that just when you think you have it all under control life throws a bouncer and you need to figure it out.

I am still a long way from being a pro at this. Still learning new things every day, working hard to be a good parent everyday, trying to be a better version of me. But I am happy in the knowledge that I have learnt a lot on the way

Linking it up with #MMM Monday Mommy Moments by Deepa Gandhi and Amrita Basu 

Let’s Agree to Disagree

She walked in with a huff! How could you? she scorned looking at me. What are you talking about? I asked a little perplexed. It was Friday fun box, couldn’t you give something fun? I eat the healthy stuff everyday, why couldn’t you give me junk food or instant noodles for tiffin she shouted. My friends made fun of me, she said while being on the verge of tears. All I could do was hug her! “Darling eating healthy home cooked food isn’t bad. It will be beneficial for you. Besides I did give you home cooked pasta”, I tried reasoning with her. But she was beyond reason. Tiffin food was one of the points that we disagreed on.

As she walked off, I realized we disagreed on a lot of stuff. Reflecting on my days as a daughter and remembering my friends relationships with their mom’s, disagreement seemed like a pattern, a constant fix if you will in any mother-daughter relation. In my younger days, it didn’t matter much as all of them had the same stories. Oh! Mom never understands, or mom’s too strict were the common exclamations among us. Mom’s weren’t supposed to be sugary-sweet. Also, I don’t think kids had a say when it came to tiffin, study timings etc.

Today there are disagreement on simple things like clothes to wear, food to eat, shows to watch, study timings, etc. and the list is endless. Add to it the mushy ads and serials that show a near perfect mother with a ‘sarva gun sampanna’ daughter and I end up feeling like I am losing the plot. I used to imagine that I will end up being this old lonely woman whose kids never visit her or remember her because she chose their well being over peer pressure or show-off.

I know that’s a little over dramatic, but hey, it’s my blog! I can be dramebaaz here 😛 Then All Out made this badass mom Advert and I was so thrilled. It was as if I found a validation to my PhD theses.

My daughter saw this ad and she said,” yeah, that’s you! So you will be the ‘Satark’ Mom, who will be worried about me and stand by me when I face any problems!” And I loved the sound of that. I am okay if my daughter isn’t the most obedient daughter in the world, but I will feel extremely hurt if she isn’t a free thinking, independent individual who isn’t scared to voice her opinion. I want my child to think of me as the first person she can turn to if she is facing a problem. I want her to believe that her mom can help her and if not help her, will atleast stand by her in her times of trouble because let’s face it, life isn’t always rosy.

Now I sleep in peace. I have realized that its okay to disagree. I have nothing against people who have found that perfect balance and never have any bone of contention with their children. I am not there yet and I do work hard on it everyday,but I have also realized that working on it doesn’t mean giving into things that are not good for her.

We don’t let it get vicious or hurtful but we have come to realize that I can never be the TV projected ever smiling mom nor will my daughter be the picture perfect daughter. We voice our opinions and discuss all things under the sun, but  we also agreed to disagree.

Confessions of a Mom of Two

I am a mom of two. Anyone expecting a mushy, joyous Johnson baby advertisement kinds of anecdotes or stories, should quit reading right away.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

So, I am a mother of two and am on a continuous guilt trip! Not joking, and the fact that it feels like a roller coaster ride doesn’t help! Who do you tell? How the hell do super mom’s or the many “We have it all together” Mom’s manage it is beyond me. One thing is for sure, my respect towards my mother has grown manifolds since I became a Mom,especially the second time.

frustrated mom

My day is roughly like this – during the morning school rush, if I get pushy with my kid number 1 to get things done quickly, I am scorned upon and at times blasted with ” You never understand what I want” or “You never do this to kid 2,”  and this from a kid who has barely entered Primary school.

As kid 1 goes to school making grumpy faces, I start my guilt trip which usually result in concluding that probably I am not doing enough for kid 1. Just as I get into a defensive mode and try pep talks about how I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, kid 2 waltz in and promptly falls or does something similar. I kick myself for letting it happen and though the kid no.2 can hardly talk, his teary eyes with a cute smile are enough to send me on a guilt trip. I mean when a kid looks at you as if you are ‘the most perfect’ thing it has ever seen, how do you not feel guilty! And the saga continues from dawn to dusk.

Over the years, I have understood two things – the first borns are usually more pampered. You care more for them since they are born, they are used to constant attention, however, it is also true that they are the most experimented species. As first-time parents, there are many things you are not aware of. At times you try anything and everything that people around you suggest and then there are times when you prefer to ignore the good old tips from granny and act all knowing (after Googling stuff!) Either way, it’s the kid that get’s affected.

With kid no2, you start off with an assumption that you are a pro and now you know everything, however, what we tend to forget is all kids are different and the situations we faced during the first time might not repeat themselves. Also the fact that your enthusiasm and energy are at an all-time low, the second born misses out on a few stuff. Like recording things- for first kid you have the recordings of things like first poop, first yawn, etc. however for the second kid, even milestones, like walking and talking might not get recorded. It’s not intentional, you are trying to manage the house, office, kid 1 schooling etc, and you somehow miss out. But it happens! Same goes for 1st-year birthday parties- usually, firstborns get a big fancy birthday party complete with special cake, games, treats etc. It doesn’t matter if the kid does not understand anything or the fact that in most pics the kid looks like he/she is on the verge of crying.  The second kid should be happy if he gets anything close to a decent birthday party.

Over the years, these small things add up and make you feel extremely guilty when you look at either kid and these thoughts are heightened when you meet some super moms. I know it and I do feel that way. But a wise old lady told me once ” These things don’t matter in the long run. You can fight, you can cry and be angry, but at the end, if your kids come up to you and share their joys and their sorrows and you see love for you in their eyes, you have done a good job! So all mommies out there, take a bow and never ever feel low. You are doing an extremely good job and let nobody tell you otherwise – even your own self!