She walked in with a huff! How could you? she scorned looking at me. What are you talking about? I asked a little perplexed. It was Friday fun box, couldn’t you give something fun? I eat the healthy stuff everyday, why couldn’t you give me junk food or instant noodles for tiffin she shouted. My friends made fun of me, she said while being on the verge of tears. All I could do was hug her! “Darling eating healthy home cooked food isn’t bad. It will be beneficial for you. Besides I did give you home cooked pasta”, I tried reasoning with her. But she was beyond reason. Tiffin food was one of the points that we disagreed on.
As she walked off, I realized we disagreed on a lot of stuff. Reflecting on my days as a daughter and remembering my friends relationships with their mom’s, disagreement seemed like a pattern, a constant fix if you will in any mother-daughter relation. In my younger days, it didn’t matter much as all of them had the same stories. Oh! Mom never understands, or mom’s too strict were the common exclamations among us. Mom’s weren’t supposed to be sugary-sweet. Also, I don’t think kids had a say when it came to tiffin, study timings etc.
Today there are disagreement on simple things like clothes to wear, food to eat, shows to watch, study timings, etc. and the list is endless. Add to it the mushy ads and serials that show a near perfect mother with a ‘sarva gun sampanna’ daughter and I end up feeling like I am losing the plot. I used to imagine that I will end up being this old lonely woman whose kids never visit her or remember her because she chose their well being over peer pressure or show-off.
I know that’s a little over dramatic, but hey, it’s my blog! I can be dramebaaz here 😛 Then All Out made this badass mom Advert and I was so thrilled. It was as if I found a validation to my PhD theses.
My daughter saw this ad and she said,” yeah, that’s you! So you will be the ‘Satark’ Mom, who will be worried about me and stand by me when I face any problems!” And I loved the sound of that. I am okay if my daughter isn’t the most obedient daughter in the world, but I will feel extremely hurt if she isn’t a free thinking, independent individual who isn’t scared to voice her opinion. I want my child to think of me as the first person she can turn to if she is facing a problem. I want her to believe that her mom can help her and if not help her, will atleast stand by her in her times of trouble because let’s face it, life isn’t always rosy.
Now I sleep in peace. I have realized that its okay to disagree. I have nothing against people who have found that perfect balance and never have any bone of contention with their children. I am not there yet and I do work hard on it everyday,but I have also realized that working on it doesn’t mean giving into things that are not good for her.
We don’t let it get vicious or hurtful but we have come to realize that I can never be the TV projected ever smiling mom nor will my daughter be the picture perfect daughter. We voice our opinions and discuss all things under the sun, but we also agreed to disagree.