Life of a referee

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My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The first situation that I am going to talk about today is being a referee

You must have heard that if there is a sister or a brother, you don’t need a friend and I have experienced the same first hand, so I can vouch for it, however, all this is true once the children are old enough to understand intense emotional feelings. Till then, for a mother, it’s a long career of being a referee or an umpire. The moment you become a mother, the second time you have to gear up for this position. It doesn’t matter if the kid 2 is only a baby and goes gaga, goo the whole day; there will be some obscure way by which your kid 1 is annoyed and you are summoned to ensure peace.

If the age difference isn’t much and they are either two girls or two boys, there is a different problem. Child 1 will automatically get territorial and there will be a verbal or non-verbal war about who owns Mumma! (read who gets the most attention) and somehow you end up doing a lot of explaining and cajoling of how the time and attention is being given equally to both. They won’t understand or accept however you will keep trying to avoid the house from falling around your ears.

A mother of two is more of a referee

If the age gap is enough where the older sibling is at an age where he can act responsibly, suddenly all the love and anticipation related to the arrival of child 2 will vanish and you will have to answer some weird questions, like “Who decided that I will get a baby brother?” “I don’t like this baby, please go and get it exchanged!” There won’t be open fights in such a scenario, but minor skirmish that you will know exactly who started but have no evidence to pinpoint! Yeah! Well, you even turn into a part detective, but more about it later. And if you try accusing one child of starting it, that child will sulk and other will blame you for hurting the sentiments!

So, you end up having a long career of being an umpire where your decisions are seen with suspicion, nobody is ever happy with you and somehow both believe that you favor the other as if this wasn’t a family but an India-Pakistan match!

Do you have two children? What have been your experiences?

I am writing this series and linking it up with Blogarhythm’s BARATHON 2nd edition

Post Author: nehagpatwardhan

Neha Tambe is a freelance social media marketer, writer and influencer. I studied mass communication and worked in various capacities spanning from journalism, copywriting to social media marketing. Blogging from the past 4 years. Founder and Owner of

19 thoughts on “Life of a referee

    Namratha Varadharajan

    (June 17, 2017 - 2:21 pm)

    I am a soon-to-be referee:) Currently, a lot of my thoughts are also looming in the field of how different it is going to become a parent second time around and the new challenges and joys that is going to come along. That is one of the reasons my theme for the barathon skirts around the edges of parenting.


      (June 17, 2017 - 5:24 pm)

      Congratulations Namratha! Would love to read your take on parenting 🙂


    (June 17, 2017 - 10:05 pm)

    I generally avoid mommy blogs but your playful take on this is so adorable and true that I can’t help applaud it. It’s a real practicality that I have done as a child to my mother n probably do till date….


      (June 17, 2017 - 10:19 pm)

      Thanks Shalini for stopping by and happy to know that you could relate to it! I still get that knowing smile/smirk from my mum when I crib about my kiddos 😁


    (June 20, 2017 - 4:02 am)

    My mom and dad are still referees though… Trying to pacify me and my siblings 😊 Seems like the kids never grow. I can imagine how witty and mindful parents have to be in these situations. But it would be fun to play detective and find the culprit though.

    Shilpa Garg

    (June 20, 2017 - 12:20 pm)

    My parents had this role of being referees and I know how challenging it is to keep the interests of both the warring kids intact. Thankfully, I am spared from this role. 🙂

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    Saarah T

    (December 13, 2018 - 1:37 am)

    Totally loved your smart take on parenting.
    Well, I have seen my mom go through this role and it’s really hard to handle especially when the age difference between the sublings is less.


    (December 13, 2018 - 1:42 am)

    I love your take on parenting here.
    I have seen my mom struggle betwene me and my brother.
    It’s usually tougher when the age difference is less.

    Deborah Miranda

    (December 13, 2018 - 4:06 am)

    This is such a true situation. Though i have one girl i have this problem with my niece and daughter. Always on standby to break up fights


    (December 13, 2018 - 3:55 pm)

    I remember my mom playing a refree always however I felt that all her love was skewed towards my brother ! I’m a mom of one currently but now I know it’s a tough job for sure! more power to u ❤️

    Jhilmil Bhansali

    (December 13, 2018 - 5:27 pm)

    OMG, I didn’t like this baby, get it exchanged! Neha, I could never imagine such and indeed the life of referee is so challenging. Since I have a boy only, so I never thought of such scuffles.


    (December 13, 2018 - 5:44 pm)

    That’s such a playful and cute take on siblings rivalry. Tho the fights don’t last for long yet I have seen parents getting flustered in all of this!

    Aamna Samad

    (December 13, 2018 - 7:57 pm)

    ~As if this wasn’t a family but an India-Pakistan match!~
    This made laugh harder and to be honest this sentence perfectly describes my situation ..
    Being a mom is not an easy task , now I know😂


    (December 13, 2018 - 10:17 pm)

    That’s very common scenario of every home where mother’s has to play the role of referee and yes it’s not easy to make the right decision. Love your take on the seven series.

    Paresh Godhwani

    (December 13, 2018 - 11:13 pm)

    I agree two kids with not much of a difference fights a lot and mother becomes a referee. And it becomes very important to be a good and strong referee.


    (December 14, 2018 - 8:04 am)

    Wow loved the way you have written the real life story with perfect flavor of humour. In my life my mom and dad is still playing the role of a referee

    Jhilmil D Saha

    (December 14, 2018 - 8:34 am)

    This is such a beautifully written article. Its a tricky situation being the referee between 2 kids. Truly its an India Palistan match all the time

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