“Had we not loved ourselves at all, we could never have been obliged to love anything. So that self-love is the basis of all love.” Thomas Traherne
This is something that we easily forget in the daily grind of things. We put everything else before us and the result is a grumpy, non-communicative and an unhappy you!
I did this! After my first child was born, we were away from family and hardly had any friends. So my whole life revolved around caring for my child, and husband. Add to it I had my share of struggle with Breast feeding and there was no one I could talk to. On the face of it I was fine, but there was this vacuum that continued to grow in me.
I yearned for a good conversation that would stimulate my brain, good old gossip and hot coffee with friends, an occasional shopping and movie time with friends. These sound like simple things, but I couldn’t do them as the baby was small, I was eternally tired and mundane things like that. In the long term it messed with my brain.
The result was a grumpy, unenthusiastic and brain dead me! I hated that me and I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know how to fix it! I blamed my husband as we were far away from my friends and family, my child and anything and everything that caught my fancy. I was unhappy and I hated it. I was saved when I started reading about stress and ways to manage it.
‘All happy relations start only if you are happy with yourself. It doesn’t matter what others think of you but are you happy with yourself?
I started thinking, am I happy the way I have turned into? Do I love this ‘me’? The answers were negative and that is when I realized I had to pull my socks. I didn’t need others to make me love myself. I had to do it on my own!
I traveled to and with people who love me. I enjoyed the pampering. I didn’t fret if people thought I wasn’t being the best mom – I didn’t let others opinion affect me. People who care for me know what I do and that’s enough for me. I took up courses that helped me read more, connect more and meet people. I created a mental road map for myself of where do I see myself after 5 years. I didn’t drum it to the world but I told it to myself regularly. I went to salons to pamper myself, I went out for movies with friends or other relatives who enjoyed movies and things that I enjoyed whenever it was possible.
The result – A happy, content and a more understanding me! I could connect better with my child and my husband. I could love and plan things better for my child. A happy person can have happy relations with the world and happiness begins with you! Isn’t that enough to love yourself?
This blog is a link up with Zainab for #WhatILove”
Linking up with Upasana for Quoted Stories
I can totally relate to your post. It is important to love oneself.:) We cannot pour from an empty cup
Thankyou for linking up with #WhatILOve
True that Zainab 🙂 It was a great prompt
Yes Neha. Self love is so important. It can drive and you to reach new heights. Things you have mentioned like sipping coffee, going out for shopping etc seems so basic but when they are absent, we know their importance.
Yes Alpana! Thanks for visiting
Yes i agree all happy relationships start with a happy you 😊
True Kehkasha, thanks
Totally agree with you just loved your blog
Nice post , what happened with you , happens with many ( a part of post delivery blues ) and at that point of time Self Love is so important so to feel good and keep going 🙂
Yes Ghazala, it is important to find yourself than spiral down
Self-love is must & will always be. Kudos to Zainab for this Awesome initiative #whatilove ❤❤
Loved reading this article. It strikes a chord. Can totally relate. An unhappy person can not make others happy.
Yes Sejal, thanks
I totally relate to how you felt as I went through the same phase with my first kid. But I learnt to cope and do things for myself which made me happy and in turn helped to take the right decisions when it was time for my second kid. Loved the heartfelt post.
Thanks Rohini!
Couldn’t agree more. All happy relations starts with you. We need to find happiness with in to spread it to others 🙂
thanks kavita
Self love is very important.Your journey is inspiring indeed.#WhatIlove
Eye-opening post, just what I needed to read! There are so many times these days when I feel grumpy and unenthusiastic and I need to stimulate my brain. I must act on this too. Thanks!
All the best with that Mahak!
I agree to this completely… if u don’t live urself u can’t love anyone else then
can’t agree more infact a small thing like dressing good can help one love self a lil more…I still miss those carefree coffee dates but still try and make it once a while and it refreshes me like anything
Self love takes away the stress and negativity, leading to a happy and content you! More power to you Neha for discovering this via a tough journey!
I had been there when I used to blame others for the unhappy version of me..However later I realized it’s me who need to feel and create the happiness around myself. Thanks to Blogging and my Kiddo who makes my day bright. Thanks for linking with Quoted Stories. Sorry for the late comment.
It is so easy to forget ourselves, when we are busy caring for others around us. Glad you wrote this and shared, Neha. It is a good reminder to all of us.